One Hard Look at..

The Rope

I can't even begin to tell you how many relationships I have been in where I held on to hope with all my might until it was clear there was no cavalry coming to save the relationship. So I stayed down in that well of hope, expecting that one day I would be lifted out and my expectations would become a reality. Let me tell you, that rarely happens. Yet I still never give up hope. I think hope is crucial to success and happiness. As long as two people have hope, anything ca

The Year of My Unraveling

One of my favorite articles by Brené Brown is about the "midlife unraveling". She talks about reaching a point in your life (usually mid-life which is where I am right now) when you realize you need to shed all of those survival skills that no longer serve a purpose. To deal with competing truths and years of pretending to be someone else. To grapple with your own mortality. For many, it takes a defining moment, grief or tragedy to come to this realization. For others it

All in the Family

What if past pain and trauma Compounds like interest? Does it take another lifetime to expel? They say pain is passed down Through the generations Is that why they say don't kiss and tell? Keep your secrets and keep your pain Swept under the rug So you're never to blame. Live life by this rule And you're surely do The same things your parents Have done to you. #originalpoem #recovery #codependency #family #rel#relationships

Songbird

#lovepoem #solitary #originalpoem #poetsandwriters #poetry #songbird #heartbreak #brokenhearted #poems #winter #lovehard #neverstoploving #truelove #cyrogenic #selfpreservation #recovery #codependency #onedayatatime #onehardlook #artheals #foreverlove #parenting #reallife #remindsmeofadixiechickssong

The Spiral

I wrote this poem the other day when I was spiraling back into codependency. Trying to hold on to something that doesn't want to be held onto. On top of it all, I had a migraine with vertigo so I felt the physical manifestation of my "relapse". It felt like defeat at the time but I now know that I have the tools and resources to get right back to a healthier mindset and take today as it comes. I will remind myself that I am worth it and stick to my boundaries. #codependenc

Line Drawing

Sometimes when I'm doing self-improvement work I beat myself up over things I have done wrong. But when the problem doesn't go away I often realize that it's because I didn't set boundaries or I didn't stick to them. If you've done everything you can and you set clear boundaries then it's time to forgive yourself and step back. This applies to family, friends, clients and colleagues. Every part of life can benefit from healthy boundaries. #selfimprovement #boundaries #SelfCar

Smart Phone

#lovehard #liveandlove #relationships #originalpoem #smartphone #poetsandwriters #thoughtsonlove #onehardlook #recovery #codependency #autocorrect

Milk from the Hardware Store

I'm incredibly lucky that I have some close girl friends that don't judge me and truly offer unconditional support through tough times. I haven't always had this type of friendship because I wasn't willing to be vulnerable in the past and was always looking to fix other people's problems rather than just listen and empathize. Honestly, I always thought I had the answers. It's still a weakness of mine because sometimes I do have answers and I want to share them with people

Love & Codependency

As I am writing this, I am watching the 2009 movie, He's Just Not That Into You. It reminds me of something I've heard often over the years: when you first meet someone they usually tell you who they are. A lot of times we choose to ignore it. Especially women. We assume that people want to be their best self and so, of course, whatever undesirable quality they have is just temporary. If someone says they aren't interested in commitment but then they contact you regularl

Therapy

When I was younger I never would have imagined that I would become a cheerleader for therapy. Then a difficult situation that I had no control over gave me no choice but to ask for help. It was survival time and I needed help navigating the murky waters of life. My new life guide, or life vest as she feels like at times because therapy definitely keeps me afloat, is everything I have ever looked for in a therapist. I tried therapy maybe twice in high school and a short per

Perfectionism

One hard look at perfectionism from infancy to adulthood. Saying Goodbye to Perfection “I think perfectionism is based on the obsessive belief that if you run carefully enough, hitting each stepping-stone just right, you won't have to die. The truth is that you will die anyway and that alot of people who aren't even looking at their feet are going to do a whole lot better than you, and have a lot more fun while they're doing it.” -Anne Lamott As I mentioned in my first