One Hard Look at..

The Rope

I can't even begin to tell you how many relationships I have been in where I held on to hope with all my might until it was clear there was no cavalry coming to save the relationship. So I stayed down in that well of hope, expecting that one day I would be lifted out and my expectations would become a reality. Let me tell you, that rarely happens. Yet I still never give up hope. I think hope is crucial to success and happiness. As long as two people have hope, anything ca

The Feast

#tbt This was probably the 2nd poem I ever wrote in high school. I had this massive crush on a player (playa) who had a couple sisters and knew women so well that he used it to his advantage. I actually became friends with a girl who was seeing him at the same time he was seeing other girls and flirting with me because we bonded over broken hearts. Once he even kissed me on the lips but I never counted it as a real kiss because he just walked up to me at school and did it. Bu

The Year of My Unraveling

One of my favorite articles by Brené Brown is about the "midlife unraveling". She talks about reaching a point in your life (usually mid-life which is where I am right now) when you realize you need to shed all of those survival skills that no longer serve a purpose. To deal with competing truths and years of pretending to be someone else. To grapple with your own mortality. For many, it takes a defining moment, grief or tragedy to come to this realization. For others it

The Visitor

Grief is dark and powerful and rears its ugly head with no warning. It isn't something to be afraid of, however. I embrace grief as a process, as a part of life. It hurts when it has its grips on you but will eventually release. I wish there was more honesty about grief as it doesn't have to be this horrible shame-causing experience. I have found grief to be freeing and life-changing; a good reason for self-care. There is life after grief. 🖤 On a side note, I am really

Boot Straps

Found this #minipoem that I wrote years ago. It reminds me of the thing I am struggling with the most: letting go. While I don't believe in luck, I do believe in stepping out of my own way. When I can do that, the universe provides. So on days when I feel defeated (or on Mondays 😂) I can remind myself that the only way is up. ⬆️🔼⬆️ . . . #originalpoem

Paper Doll

#tbt 🎶 I found this song I wrote when I was a teenager (probably 15). It's fun to think back to teenager me (poor, angsty teenager me) and how badly I wanted to write songs and poems and it wasn't until 15 years later that I truly started writing a lot. Teenager me was so worried about what someone might think if they read my songs or poems that it kept me from writing. Now, 20-some years later, as part of my #onehardlook challenge, I am putting pride and fear aside and sh

Spirit Animal

Ever since I was a little girl I have been drawn to herons. If there is one within sight, I will find it. When I do, I immediately feel calm and connected to my surroundings. Maybe they are my spirit animal? ☀️ This week I was driving on a major highway and one appeared right next to me on the median, not something you see often in California. It was as still as a statue and all I could think of was how it seemed so full of wisdom. Like it had the secret to life. Perhaps

Tinnitus

#tinnitus #vertigo #vestibularmigraine #basilarmigraines #chronicillness #menieresdisease #hearingloss #hardofhearing #originalpoem

In Heaven

True story. 😇 . . . #heaven #kidssaythedarndestthings #kids #parenting #originalpoem #poetsofinstagram #poetsofig #poetryslam #communityofpoetry #poetry #poetsandwriters #faith #pureimagination #believe #dreams #fantasy #reallife #realconversation #happyfriday #friyay #outofthemouthofbabes #sixyearsold #learntofly #spirituality #creativity #myheart #love #relationships #family #parenthood

With You

When you can look me in the eye And tell me you are happy, When you can say a real goodbye Instead of silently walking away, When you can speak your truth Without defense, Without cover ups and distractions, When you can do all these things, That's when I will stop loving you. Since that will never happen, You know where my love will be. ##originalpoem #creativespace #love #relationships

Denial

Our secrets are sleeping now Though they speak from your eyes They really won't hurt us These mini, white lies They keep everything pleasant The first hundred times. Then they start to take over This sweet paradigm. #originalpoem #denial #relationships

Underwater

#originalpoem #serenity #survival #singleparent #grief #parenting

All in the Family

What if past pain and trauma Compounds like interest? Does it take another lifetime to expel? They say pain is passed down Through the generations Is that why they say don't kiss and tell? Keep your secrets and keep your pain Swept under the rug So you're never to blame. Live life by this rule And you're surely do The same things your parents Have done to you. #originalpoem #recovery #codependency #family #rel#relationships

Songbird

#lovepoem #solitary #originalpoem #poetsandwriters #poetry #songbird #heartbreak #brokenhearted #poems #winter #lovehard #neverstoploving #truelove #cyrogenic #selfpreservation #recovery #codependency #onedayatatime #onehardlook #artheals #foreverlove #parenting #reallife #remindsmeofadixiechickssong

The Spiral

I wrote this poem the other day when I was spiraling back into codependency. Trying to hold on to something that doesn't want to be held onto. On top of it all, I had a migraine with vertigo so I felt the physical manifestation of my "relapse". It felt like defeat at the time but I now know that I have the tools and resources to get right back to a healthier mindset and take today as it comes. I will remind myself that I am worth it and stick to my boundaries. #codependenc

Line Drawing

Sometimes when I'm doing self-improvement work I beat myself up over things I have done wrong. But when the problem doesn't go away I often realize that it's because I didn't set boundaries or I didn't stick to them. If you've done everything you can and you set clear boundaries then it's time to forgive yourself and step back. This applies to family, friends, clients and colleagues. Every part of life can benefit from healthy boundaries. #selfimprovement #boundaries #SelfCar

Smart Phone

#lovehard #liveandlove #relationships #originalpoem #smartphone #poetsandwriters #thoughtsonlove #onehardlook #recovery #codependency #autocorrect

My Valentine

Smoking meat Treasure hunting Giant bubbles Football punting Milky way Frozen nights Camping when the time's not right Nerf gun wars Crazy dreams Chocolate cake Tickle screams Burping contests Basketball Are why I love you most of all. Kites and fishing Homemade clay Drones and stones And baseball days Holidays and barbecues Are all I need to fight the blues. I wish to you a happy day To my Valentine, my boo, my bae. #ValentinesDay #love #marriage #relationships #family #pare

Home

Home is where we once came After a very long day But we knew that we'd see you So we waited ...... And waited ............... And waited. In a flash you appeared But only for a moment Like a mirage in an emotional desert. Leaving us with thirst Begging to be quenched. We are still thirsty and waiting. #originalpoem #heartbreak #relationships #onehardlook